Dentonvale Always Seems to be Hiring
by Columbia fangirl
Summary: What might've happened if Columbia had lived and Nurse Ansalong had located her. Me and my crazy ideas again. Rated T only to be safe, I get a little weird sometimes. Reviews on how I could make it better would be awesome!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own RHPS. Such a depressing fact. I really should be working on my other story... I'm just so full of ideas that I can't stand it. Reviews would be lovely, I know I have a lot that I can improve on, so don't be afraid to tell me what I can do better! **

"It's _so _nice of you, Ansie." Columbia murmured, grinning at the blonde who'd came for her. "To take me in after my boyfriends' died." She drew out the s, making Laura unsure if she was teasing her or had seriously had multiple male friends.

"Columbia," she began uncomfortably. "I'm not real sure if you just said Ansie or Auntie. I'm not your aunt; I'm your first cousin. And if it was the other, well, I'd like it if you called me Laura…Nurse Ansalong works too, I guess."

The red-head responded by biting her lip. Laura didn't know much about her at this point; just that she'd had unfortunate accident with a laser. What strange person would be pointing a laser at herself? But she was in Denton working as a model when they'd brought in some doctors from Europe, and she'd been told to act like a nurse. Who better to play nurse with than what used to be her favorite cousin?

Of course, she had the sneaking suspicion that Columbia had probably been doing drugs since those days. It wasn't something she wanted to think about really, or the fact that her cousin seemed to have a couple of boyfriends that died. That seemed a little disturbing.

"Where are we going?" Collie asked, looking up at her 'first cousin' with wide and strangely innocent eyes. This lady looked more like a long lost twin than anything. Maybe if she dyed her hair blonde and let it grow out, they could look the same. That would require her to put on that weird nurse outfit, though. Columbia would take her tap shoes and sequined clothing any day of the week.

"We're gonna be on a TV show! They call it Dentonvale. If I can fix you, maybe you can be a nurse with me cusie." She seemed extremely animated about this topic that the former groupie really had no interest in.

Shrugging, all she could do was murmur, "I can't call you Ansie, but _you _can call me cusie? It's about ten times worse." At this, she got up and began to walk off. "And there is _no-thing. I repeat—nothing_ wrong with me. My parents were always convinced I was gonna get a STD or something crazy like that." Surprisingly, she never had.

"Well, Dentonvale is always hiring." Laura called after her, speed-walking to catch up. Flipping around, Columbia's green eyes gave her a quick once over. "You can be a nurse like me."

"How _are_ you a nurse, exactly? Don't you have to go to school for that?" she asked quietly. "And was your voice always so high? Sometimes I can barely catch what you're saying."

_Like her voice isn't high too, _was the first thing that crossed Ansie's mind. _And don't start calling yourself Ansie…_

Ignoring her cousin's questions, she led her to one of the many dull white rooms that Dentonvale had available. "How about you sit down, and, uh," she dug through her pockets until she found a small container of white pills, "take this!"

Before Columbia had a chance, about three pills were in her mouth. Swallowing, her newly painted baby pink lips turned downward into a pout. "What the hell _were _those? Were you _trying _to choke me, _little-miss-fake-nurse _Ansalong?"

Laura had panicked, it was true. Making a mental note to never, ever, _ever _stuff pills into Collie's mouth again, she read the container that was still in her left hand. "Uh, seda…" Realizing they said 'sedatives', she quickly improvised with, "never mind, just something to make you better."

"One question," the girl in front of her growled. "Do you think I'm five and can't tell what you were about to say? God, you must think I'm a real dumbass if y—" With that, the newly christened Nurse Ansalong wrote a quick note on where to find her for Columbia whenever she woke up. Slumped on the bed, she threw a blanket over her and waved as if she would notice.

Gently tiptoeing away, Laura resolved to try to mend the relationship she'd shared with Collie such a long time ago. It wasn't going to happen quite so easily now, though.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Don't own Rocky Horror. I feel like the last chapter was very Laura-y (if that's even a word that I didn't just invent), so this will be more from Columbia's point of view. **

White shoes. Had she always been wearing white shoes? Memories of a nurse telling her she'd been hit by a laser in a rather _inconvenient_ spot, but she'd been very lucky and hadn't taken too much damage.

Very lucky. Huh.

Now that she thought about it, Columbia had seen a blonde woman a few times telling her things. All she'd ever noticed was their similarities, and if that wasn't on her mind, she was wondering how she'd gotten out of the castle. Maybe Brad, Janet, and Dr. Scott had taken her with them?

Somehow she knew that wasn't true. They'd probably assumed she was dead the moment she'd let out that scream.

Taken to a place they called Dentonvale. With that, the final memory of what had happened came back. That blonde bitch had sedated her! Irritated already, she stood up, a white blanket falling to the floor. Staring at the white lump on the floor, two things crossed her mind.

_Nearly everything in this fucking place is white, _was the first. Still, she picked it up and laid it down carefully. Reconsidering for a moment, her mind silently added, _but covering me up was actually a little sweet. _

_In an annoying way, of course. Do I look like I need mothering? _

Columbia had handled being on her own for such a long time. Her mother wanted to leave her with an extremely dull uncle living just outside of Denton? Fine, have a freaking fantastic life without your little mistake.

And when said uncle had told her many years later that she needed to control herself and stop doing drugs she'd merely walked out. Who needed that asshole anyway? Then a wonderfully interesting man in a pickup truck had offered her a ride.

All things considered, the red-head knew that no matter what she would've always gone with Frank. He seemed like the one person in the world who embraced difference. Even his servants seemed out of the ordinary.

She'd taken a specific liking to the maid or whatever it was she considered herself to be—Magenta. Her hair was wild and her accent was difficult to say the least, but she was one of the few people that Collie had truly enjoyed being around in a long time.

Her brother Riff Raff was a different story. It was easy to see they had something going on; a fact that had struck her as weird at first but had later decided was just fine. He was balding, hunchbacked, and had a really creepy voice that was nothing like his sister's.

And of course, her darling scientist Frank-N-Furter, a transvestite that helped her out more than she could've ever thanked him for. She was his groupie and occasional partner; two jobs she felt were completely perfect for her. Collie had eventually fallen for him, and tried to take it back by dating Eddie.

All in all, this wasn't really a story she wanted to remember right now.

"You're awake!" Someone with a really high voice shouted, causing Columbia to jump in shock. "I'm real sorry I sedated ya; I promise I never meant to."

Taking a moment for her heart to stop pounding, green eyes met green eyes. One held a challenge while the other's merely looked innocently downward.

"Ansie," she whispered with a smirk, the simple statement seeming to satisfy the need to upset the nurse standing in front of her. "I really appreciate it. Ya know, leaving me all alone in a random place. What if I had walked out and got hit by, like, a semi or something?"

A raised eyebrow was the only response the blonde gave. "Did _you _really even think about leaving?"

Pouting, Columbia replied with a sharp, "No."

"Then don't worry about it! I left you a note, but you were out for a while so I thought I'd come check on you." The voice of nurse Ansalong rang sharply in her cousin's ears, a displeasing soprano that outmatched her own.

Needless to say, it was practically _begging _her to screw around with it a little bit. "Then don't worry about it," the former groupie retorted, making her voice sound squeaky and almost indiscernible. "Listen, I really just wanna go…"

There was no home. No castle. No dull life she could ever wish upon herself with her uncle. "Somewhere," she bit her lip, the taste of lipstick a reminder that she was actually quite thirsty. "You said before I could be a nurse with you. How 'bout it?"

Of course her cousin's initial attitude was enough to make any woman pissed off. Laura was, however, a very kind person when she wanted to be. Besides, whether Columbia realized it or not, she was in desperate need of a maternal figure. At least that was what Nation had guessed when she'd asked the 'doctor' about it.

So many delightful fakes running around.

"I think you're finally starting to recover from getting hit by a laser, cusie." It was an easy, simple reply that gave nothing away. "And I think Farley will like you."

Giving an excited jump, Collie's short red hair bounced in all directions. "Does this mean I can have my tap shoes back?"


End file.
